Stripper on the loose

Local St. Louis resident held on charges of public nudity.

Alexis Walden from right here in St. Louis, Missouri was arrested yesterday on four counts of public nudity. "Alexis had been running around town naked for several weeks before we finally caught that bastard," police Sgt. Brigs said. "We had gotten several complaints from concerned mothers about a woman running around naked and decided it was time to take this criminal down once and for all."

The police used a computer to plot out where Walden had been streaking, and they found a trend. They then set up a trap for Walden based on the collected information. "Our woman fell right into it," Brigs explained.

Brigs staged a public event knowing that the streaker was sure to run by during the event. Sure enough, they saw a woman run by with no clothes on. The police hiding in the area went in for the kill and brought Alexis Walden down.

Many local St. Louis residents were shocked at who it was. One widowed Mrs. Cunningham had this to say, "I always thought Alexis was such a good intentioned person. I guess Alexis has finally shown their true side. That woman Bitch! Foolin' us all like that!"

Alexis Walden will be tried next month in the local courthouse in St. Louis, Missouri. Police are now warning parents to stay close to their children in case other freaks decide to follow the actions of Walden. A new law is currently being written to bring down harsher punishments in cases like this. This new law will be named after the woman and is called "Walden's law."

Until Walden is tried and jailed, police are posting pictures of this criminal all around St. Louis. "People should stay far away from this woman." Said Brigs, "Walden has been exposed as a pervert and we don't want this woman hurting anyone."

Alexis Walden declined our request for an interview saying only, ""I was absolutely shocked.""

We will cover news of the trial as it happens.