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Master of Pumpkins


Local Clovis Farmer Crowned Master of Pumpkins


It all started two months ago in Clovis, California when pumpkin season began. Farmer Matt Plaks decided to start preparing a little earlier than the rest. All of Plaks's hard work has paid off.

Plaks began the pumpkin season by praying to the local deity of the pumpkins, Schmoogen. Plaks received visions from the god of the pumpkins acquiring specific instructions on how to win the pumpkin tournament and be crowned grand master of pumpkins.

Strictly adhering to the instructions from schmoogen, Plaks began growing the largest quantity of pumpkins this year. Not only that but Matt Plaks has not only broken the California record but has succeeded in breaking the world's record for largest pumpkin ever grown as well.

Its diameter was recorded to be 500 feet. That should make enough pumpkin pies for all the citizens of Clovis to be filled for weeks.

Matt Plaks told us that schmoogen has forbidden the secrets to be revealed. Everyone is dying to know the secrets but Plaks said it would remain a family secret untill the end of time. Local citizens are kind enough to respect the decision made by the local man.

Plaks's family looks like it will always be winning the annual tournament of pumpkins from this year on. Plaks left reporters empty-handed with only the quote, "It was no big deal, it was just Chinatown."


Reported by: Schmoogen of the pumpkins
FCB News Staff    1

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