Master of Pumpkins

Local Anaheim Farmer Crowned Master of Pumpkins

It all started two months ago in Anaheim, California when pumpkin season began. Farmer Jane Blane decided to start preparing a little earlier than the rest. All of Blane's hard work has paid off.

Blane began the pumpkin season by praying to the local deity of the pumpkins, Schmoogen. Blane received visions from the god of the pumpkins acquiring specific instructions on how to win the pumpkin tournament and be crowned grand master of pumpkins.

Strictly adhering to the instructions from schmoogen, Blane began growing the largest quantity of pumpkins this year. Not only that but Jane Blane has not only broken the California record but has succeeded in breaking the world's record for largest pumpkin ever grown as well.

Its diameter was recorded to be 500 feet. That should make enough pumpkin pies for all the citizens of Anaheim to be filled for weeks.

Jane Blane told us that schmoogen has forbidden the secrets to be revealed. Everyone is dying to know the secrets but Blane said it would remain a family secret untill the end of time. Local citizens are kind enough to respect the decision made by the local woman.

Blane's family looks like it will always be winning the annual tournament of pumpkins from this year on. Blane left reporters empty-handed with only the quote, "I ate my underpants!"